In re-reading my contributions to our blog, I realize I may have come across as more than a little angsty. It would appear that I experienced all the same emotional and growing pains as years past, but was unable to keep up with them in such a concentrated period of time. My heart still breaks and my insides bubble when I think about what I have left behind—not that I think I am the answer to anyone's needs, but selfishly because, despite all blog posts to the contrary, I feel most at peace and most myself when I am in Piura and don't know what to do with that information.
I had a moment one afternoon last week during siesta where I was blown away by a feeling of complete and utter gratitude that I was once again able to return to Santisimo Sacramento. I like to think that my 22 year old self would be shocked but satisfied to know this truth. To be able to return and return again with my mom and then again with my mom and sister (and hopefully again with my mom, sister and dad), has given me the truly humbling opportunity to see what is possible with great faith and great love.
One thing that was hardest for me was coming to terms with my relationships in Peru. It is hard for me to reconcile the profound love and respect I have for the people on staff and the families we meet with the little time we are able to spend together. I got stuck in a rut wondering whether or not it is even possible to really know one another when languages, oceans, continents, income inequalities and cultures divide. The conclusion I have come to (at least for now) is that I know the people I encounter in Peru as well as I know anyone. In many ways we are just one large, beautiful, complicatd and sometimes dysfunctional family that extends from Piura, La Legua, San Jacinto, La Piedra, Monte Castillo and Cumbibiera to Green Bay, Wisconsin, New York, NY and everywhere in between. It encompasses all who live there, all who live here and all the many groups who support in person, in financial aid or in prayer. It includes all of us, all of them, and all of you, who have so patiently and graciously supported our time at Santisimo Sacramento.
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| www.santisimo.org |
And so I thank you for sharing this journey with us and for walking with us through some of the ugly and icky feelings. Our feelings this week have been complicated and to some extent I hope they continue to stay that way—because to feel uncomfortable is to feel aware and I don't want to fall asleep again. Your prayers have meant the world and help provide context for what is possible in this world.
La paz,
Kathleen
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